(no subject)

Zeke has to decide which is worse, a sore and aching backside, or sore and aching legs. Coal is a good beast for what he does, but what he does is dig a swayback spine in between Zeke's legs and grind his nethers to mush on his withers.



"What are you doing?"

"You're not allowed here demon caller!"

Zeke sighed and pinched his nose. "Decimate is not a demon! He's a chimera and my familiar! I'm a Wizard!"

"A dark Wizard!"

"Well... yes, but *also* a Light Wizard. Really. I can do both!"

"You've come to eat our children! It's the end times!"

"No! That's illegal! I'm a LEGAL Wizard! I'm from the Akademy!"

"There's no law what says eating children is illegal." The town Witch pointed out, rather unhelpfully in Zeke's opinion.

"Well, no, but it's illegal to murder a child and eating one accounts to the same thing. We aren't living in a fairy tail after all."

"But if'n the child was alive when it got ate, and died on the inside o' the beast, then that's natural causes, not murder."

"How is that natural causes and *when* did it come to court?!" Zeke asked, flaberghasted.

"Two Winter Nights ago, babe got eaten up by a bear. Alive. Had to have a trial on punishment o' the bear, what with the townsmen being all pussy-wholloped and scared. Lord o' the Land ruled the babe died o' natural causes, on account the bear's stomach was no fit place for liven."

"What happened to the bear?"

"Well he's innocent isn't he? Still out in the woods somewheres I suspect."



Zeke's cloak was made of dyed leather, a gift from Andria he wasn't sure how to refuse. It was long, and heavy, the colors thickly saturated as though painted. He often ended up sleeping in it, or on it, and huddling beneath it when the rain came down.

He wasn't sure how to clean leather of this quality, so he'd simply enchanted it to repel stains and dirt, and mend itself if torn. Not exactly the easiest spells to maintain, but they hardly drained his magic once set.

To be honest, his magic, even when drained by the Serpent's fang, never faltered in sustaining the spells he'd keyed. He knew that Clara was still tending the light house, the purification charms on the wells of RoughStone were working, and his bond to Decimate thrummed quiet life into him.



Curled up in warm musky fur, Zeke ignored the happy trilling that was trying to tear him from his pleasant dreams. Something shifted and rustled, a warning sound thrumming under his ear that soothed him. His pillow moved, blankets pulling back, which made him whine and nuzzle into his bed.

A hot, wet tongue started grooming his hair, licking the long ringlets straight and leaving his head damp with saliva. Zeke grumbled, shoving the troublesome muzzle aside. He was sleeping!



"You're naked." Andria pointed out from the door way, smirking as Zeke burrowed into his blankets.

"Sleeping!"

"Naked."

"Sleeeeeeeeeeeping. Go away woman."

"You're naked, in bed, a woman is *right* here and you don't want her to come keep you warm?"

Zeke hissed in frustration. "NO! I want to sleep! Go hump some inbred sheep herder!" He pulled the blanket over his head to try and block out her startled laughter.


"Need more shelves." Zeke sighed, eying the stacks of books threatening to topple and crush Clara. He hated building furniture, carpentry was not his forte. He could, if he had the coin, hire someone to make him the needed storage, but he was down to his last few gold after that long journey to Vainfar. Instead of returning to the Akademy, he'd returned to his home and hibernated. Decimate was happy to be back on familiar grounds, terrorizing the rabbits and snapping up the goats and geese that wandered away from their herders.

Zeke needed that time to center himself. He needed to practice his spells and get used to the new drain of using his staff, now that it carried the Serpent's fang metal.

Most of all he needed time to think and consider his next approach to Decimate's condition. There was so much he needed to know about that night, about the spells Landier had utilized and in what order, so that he could try and undo the horror.

(no subject)

1) Will: Inspect your electrical. A proper home inspector will look at your circuit breaker, your wall outlets, and your appliances and tell you if there is anything that looks dangerous or isn't working.

2) Won't: Completely inspect your electrical. A home inspector is not going to open your walls. There could be a lot of issues hidden by the dry wall and unless there's an obvious issue like exposed wires, wires running against your copper pipes, or a knob and tube staring down from the ceiling, the inspector might not catch it.

3) Will: Inspect your roofing. A good home inspector will check out your roof for drainage, mold, leaking, intact soffits and animals. A really good inspector will get up on a ladder or even on the roof to check it. They'll tell you how old it is, and how long that kind of roof typically lasts. Your house will never be typical.

4) Won't: Inspect the environment. If you have a yard, or trees, you have potentially clogged drains, cracked pipes, septic problems, and insects. A home inspector checks the house, not the environment around it and all those costly issues may be lurking just outside his view.

5) Will: Examine all potential leaks and report any water damage. Water damage anywhere is a major problem that can lead to mold, structural problems and hundreds of thousands of dollars in repairs. A home inspector's job is to catch leaks and warn you about them, from rain, flood, or pipes.

6) Won't: Ensure code compliance. A typical home inspector doesn't actually check for code compliance, and most will tell you that they aren't up to date on all codes. For that you will need a specialist, especially if you plan to renovate.

7) Will: Check that your AC and heater are working and not leaking gas, rusted, or about to blow up or catch your house on fire. This means turning them on, sniffing, maybe check the filters. Efficiency isn't a necessity.

8) Won't: Inspect your AC and heater are working efficiently. This again means opening up the walls and checking the ducts, checking the return, and spending time in each room to see if it heats and cools properly. A lot of trouble could be laying out of sight behind the bright paint, and your home inspector doesn't have x-ray vision.

9) Will: Check the roof insulation for proper depth. This depends on types of insulation as well, some are better than others, chances are you'll have just enough, or you can negotiate to get just enough, but it's like the custom insoles in your shoes. You don't know you need it until you don't have it and it sounds like an extravagance no matter how you spin it.

10) Won't: Check the walls for insulation or vapor barrier. Again; walls, opening, they do not do.

11) Will: Look for dry rot on any exposed wood. Dry rot is caused by fungus, and can destroy sidings, decking, walls and your bank account. There's nothing to do but rip out the infect wood, replace it, and cry.

12) Won't: Look for asbestos or radon gas. Get specialists for this, chances are you have it. The older the house, the higher the chances. Asbestos is the evil boogeyman lurking in houses waiting to devour your hopes and dreams, leaving you wailing to an uncaring mortgage.

13) Will: Inspect all chimneys, eaves, attics and crawlspaces for animals and obvious issues. This means standing water, mold, hornets, and small children. Sloping, cracks, exposed wires should all be noted and taken care of either before moving in, or as soon as possible after. The children are up to you.

14) Won't: Catch all the pests. Termites, carpenter ants, mice and rats can all escape inspection if their damage isn't obvious. Check when the house last had an exterminator service. Especially if you find small children.

15) Will: Examine brick and stone work, mortar wear, and point out broken concrete or brick work. These can be costly to repair, and often you can negotiate it in the selling price. This includes shifting in the foundation, or sloping of the foundation that can trap water in the crawlspace.

16) Won't: Check the pool. The pool, even inside the house, does not qualify as part of the house. Most inspectors aren't trained to do more than look at a pool and go 'yup, it has water'. Get a pool person.

17) Will: Examine materials of walls and roof for aging, home style and architecture details. A good inspector will take note of a house built in the olden days and point out the added wings that might have sloppy construction or underlying problems. A real good one will tell you what kinds of problems are common to that style of home in particular.

16) Won't: Examine for lifestyle. The home inspector examines for overall livability and safety. Those stair railings that your baby can slip through? Are your to ponder. Ensuring the house fits your lifestyle is your own responsibility. What's perfect for a pair of flat mates isn't right for expecting parents, and vice versa. Also, that pool may not be safe at all for the child you discovered in the crawlspace.

17) Will: Check all the windows. Leaking isn't the only thing to go wrong with windows; caulking, air leaks and animal evidence are all potential indicators of worse problems underneath the walls. In one case a window noted from the outside was not accessible from inside the house, showing that an attic had been completely sealed off behind plaster and paint. A good inspector will note this and ask why.

18) Won't: Examine for hazardous materials. Like asbestos and radon, lead paint, corroded pipes and other minor hazardous materials are not under an inspectors purview. If you want to know if your small child is at risk of inhaling toxic metals in your new home, get someone licensed to inspect it. The house, and your child.